An Autumnal Awareness
Oh Autumn. I normally find so much comfort, warmth, and underlying excitement at this time of year. An opportunity to soften, steady, and go slower after the bigger, brighter, busier days of summer have passed. It feels rewarding, almost like you’re done with the hustle, for the most part of the year, and you’re finally about to lean into a period of nurturing, that downtime you deserve.
This year, though. It’s different. My internal deep rooted, built in body clock is feeling all of the above, yet I’m also managing to feel that strange, slightly overwhelming pressure of needing to achieve still hanging on. Like a whole new year is splaying out before me, calling out that I notice and grab hold of every single opportunity I can right now because what if?!…..
Well, what exactly?
I guess that’s something to do with the world having to hit the pause button this year, and our goal orientated brains having not had enough of their dopamine hit to just let it go. The fact that we have barely began to find our feet, our routines, our recovery from this worldwide pandemic, yet are still teetering on the edge of another badly instigated forced lockdown, a continuous period of uncertainty this time looming over darker days and colder nights.
It’s a difficult adjustment for sure. This whole year has been, and it’s still very much a work in progress. Learning to ‘roll with it’ doesn’t come naturally for some people, trust me.
If you feel scared, hopeless, anxious, like everything is overwhelming right now, then hey, that’s ok.
So what can we do, to help each other help ourselves? Looking back at Spring, that first initial lockdown, what did we manage to work on, or what did we wish we had been able to work on more? Speaking truthfully, easing of lockdown really put me into full on fear mode. In a way, I welcomed lockdown. A series of incredibly stressful events resulted in me feeling like I needed a break. I needed everything just to stop. So I found going into lockdown much more comforting that I have in it easing. I was becoming so accustomed to my new routine, and my new safety nets that stepping out of that blanket of comfort I really struggled with. However, I am aware that this is potentially just as problematic as the fear & anxiety lockdown brings in itself. Readjustment, and change is so so tough, whichever direction you’re brushing up against.
So awareness. That’s a start…
Just like going out for a run or working out at the gym feels great and exercises your body, there are ways we can exercise our minds. Studies show that our brains are malleable and that meditative exercises can help retrain our brains and promote Neuron growth. This occurs in the area of the brain responsible for awareness.
Tuning into, or strengthening our sense of awareness can be an incredibly powerful way to get to the cause of how we are feeling.
We all have an automatic default that is activated when we feel empty, lost or dissatisfied, which essentially just allows us to avoid these deeper sensations through distraction. Whether it’s a Netflix binge, (why did it take me so long to watch Big Little Lies, though!?) a bucket of ice cream, a bottle of wine, it’s important to get to know what these avoidance tactics are. It is this awareness that will slowly begin to shift, and bit by bit untangle the deepest, densest systems within.
This avoidance program serves to distract us, numbing us to the point where we don’t have to experience discomfort. We have typically not been equipped with the tools on how to navigate our inner deeper spaces. It’s that simple. Perhaps if we were educated about internal navigation, about the body, mind, breath, how to feel, heal, and cultivate an awareness, many major prevalent problems today (a society struggling with mass anxiety, depression, conflict) could be healed.
Where do we begin? Next week? Tomorrow. 2021? Here’s when. Right now, wasting no more time waiting for the perfect moment. When is the right time, exactly? A perfect moment is an impossibility. The word perfect is defined by idealised creations, by illusions, by constant media bombardment. The ‘perfect’ moment is the moment that is. Because in it’s purest form, this moment contains all that we need. Growth is a continual process; perfection is right now. It is embedded and soaked within each fleeting moment, which grows on the foundation of what came before.
So lean in. I’ll do it with you. It won’t be easy, but what 2020 has shown us so far, is that we are much more resilient than we ever really thought we could be.
With love,
Grace xo
